After work, my mom and grandma and grandpa came to pick me up and we went home and I had a Cosmic Brownie (YUM) and I got to say goodbye to my grandparents (even though I'm going to see them during the first week of September for my cousin's wedding) and then it was off to my hair appointment, ya know, freshen it up before I head off to school. Last time I got it cut, I also got it colored and it was this awesome shade of purpleish reddish brown. It was awesome. I loved it. BUT my hair happens to grow really really fast, which means roots like nobody's business. So I decided I wanted like, some lowlights which will kind of mask my root situation a little bit. I also wanted a fresh haircut and to flip my part over to the other side. No biggie, ya know?
Well, then my mom and I are in the car, and she's got to go to this open house at the high school, and we're having the missionaries over for dinner, and I've got this dumb haircut starting at 4:30, and she's dropping me off and I'm like, how the heck am I supposed to get picked up in time to get home for the missionaries and still get my hair done? Plus, at that point I'm thinking ... 1 summer and 2 $90 haircuts = POOOOOOOOOOP. So I decide that I will not get highlights and that I will just get my hair cut really quick, not even have her style it or anything, and then I'll get picked up and have dinner with the fam and everything will be hunky-dory, right?
WRONG.
I go in, and it's 5:00 before my stylist can even see me. So already a half an hour wasted. Then when I'm finally in the chair, and she starts asking me about hair color, I start feeling bad that I booked up her afternoon so she's expecting to do all this work for me and there's no one else scheduled after me ... And I feel really terrible. So I say, what the heck. May as well get what I want. Only then I start having second thoughts, but she's in the back room grabbing color swatches. And she's back there for like five minutes. By the time she comes back, I feel like it would be SO rude to make her go and try to figure this all out and then tell her, "Ya know what, bag it. I don't want highlights anymore!" Because highlights cost a lot of money, and haircuts ... not so much.
So I just figure, okay whatever. Highlights. It's like $35 for highlights and $20 for a wash and cut. $55 isn't so bad. Especially considering that the salon I go to is one of the top 200 in the nation. (How that happened in Jefferson City, Missouri, I have NO idea.)
Except that then my hair's so #&$*#%(#%)(*$#&ing thick that she has to make a second bowl of color. Which means BAM. Another $35.
And here's what really hacks me off. Can they really not make only half a bowl? Did I really need that much color in my hair? I mean, I guess I should have known that the highlighting services there are sucktastic, since the highlights I got there last Christmas were barely even noticeable and I was super disappointed with them, but back then they only charged me for a partial highlight. Which is really all I wanted, because it's not like you can see my roots in the back of my hair. Just at my freaking scalp. I mean you could, if you really dug into my hair. BUT WHO THE HECK DOES THAT?!?!?!?! NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO I SHOULDN'T FREAKING NEED HIGHLIGHTS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So then the highlighting alone takes until like, 6:40. Which is a major piss-off, if you ask me, because the missionaries were supposed to come at six. And by that point, I'm mad, upset that my money's getting ripped out of my hands, and feeling super guilty that I'm missing the missionaries and that I didn't help my mom get ready for guests. AND I'm thinking about all the stuff that I need to be doing like packing and all sorts of other ridiculous crap ... So as soon as she's done with my haircut, I tell her I really need to get home so she doesn't need to style it, I pay my freaking $90, call my mom, and walk out of the salon with wet hair. Keep in mind, my mom's still at the house. So I can't really say, "Oh I need to hurry!" and then sit out on the bench in the front of the salon. That just looks super rude. I tell my mom I'm going to start walking up to the car wash that's up the road, and there's a big parking lot there for her to pick me up in and it'll be all awesome.
Only it's not. Because she sends my little sister. Who I texted and said, "Pick me up at the car wash, not at the salon. That's where I am going to be." And I'm chilling in the parking lot, and guess who drives right by me? Oh yeah. My sister. I'm practically in hysterics, because I can barely control my upset-ness about my hair, and because then I know she'll walk into the salon and try to find me in there, and then they'll know that I left for no apparent reason and half-lied just to save $5 on my haircut (since they didn't blow it dry). So I start walking back towards the salon. And I'm calling and calling and calling my sister, only she never picks up her phone. I'm leaving an angry message on her phone, telling her that she needs to freaking turn her phone off silent when she's driving to come pick somebody up (because she really never thinks of those sorts of things EVER). Just as I hang up the phone, guess who drives by? My sister. I'm waving my hands frantically, and there are tons of cars on the road because a major detour is running through there right now. So I turn around again. And by this point, I am totally in tears because (1) I look like an idiot. (2) My mom told me that I completely missed the missionaries. And (3) Because I am mad about how much money I just spent on a nothing hair cut.
So I keep waiting and waiting and waiting but she never drives by again. Finally I call her phone one more time. Miraculously, it gets picked up. Tragically, by my mother, who is still at home.
Now I'm sobbing, alone in a deserted parking lot next to an extremely busy street in a small town with my hair wet.
Like I said, it was a bad day.
My mom tells me to just hang around and wait for her and she'll come get me because my sister has completely disappeared. My mom finally comes and gets me, and I'm in hysterics because I'm so miserable about everything and wasting my money, especially. I'm a real tight-wad like that.
I get home and realize that all I've had to eat all day is breakfast and a Cosmic Brownie, and it's like past 7:00. Now you all know why I eat all the time--because not eating throws me into a black hole of misery and irrationality. Plus I'm like an emotional wreck because of certain conversations with my mom earlier that day, and because, even though I am very excited about college, I am very sad to leave my family. Since I hadn't yet emotionally confronted that fact, it chose to confront me whilst in my hunger-induced depression. And I'm mad at my sister for driving past me twice and forgetting to take her phone with her. I'm not fit to comment much more on that, as I will be extremely rude, since my happy tank is still not full, after such a serious draining today.
I come home, and, as you may well imagine, I'm an emotional train wreck. So I bust into tears at the beginning of family scripture study and ask to be excused. I then proceed to cry alone in the basement while packing my things.
Keep in mind, I'm not telling you this to garner pity. Really. I just need to get my words out without having someone tell me "Oh it's not that big a deal" and without having to choke through them. Because you know what, I don't give a crap if it's not a big deal right now. It freaking feels like a big deal! That's the worst thing you can say to someone who is irrationally upset. You, in that moment, cannot know what it feels like, because even if you've been there, you forget how upsetting it is. Also, when you are that upset and it is so irrational, you can't think through it well enough to make sense of it, so the advice-giver may as well shut up, save their breath to cool their porridge, etc. Sorry about THAT mini-rant. ...
I guess the point I'm trying to make is summed up by this: I have to eat. Or else I get really upset. Really, really, really upset. Also, don't go into a salon not knowing what you want. Know what you want, be a stickler about what you want, and don't let anyone else convince you that you need more than what you want. And make sure they know that you don't want to spend a freaking lot of money because you have darned other things you want to spend your money on besides stupid haircuts.
That's all I can talk about now without busting into tears again. I need more brownie. And some chamomile tea. I wish I was more able to impose on people, so that I don't end up spending $90 on bum haircuts. I love myself, and I hate myself.
I might consider eating 2 chocolate cheesecakes for breakfast tomorrow morning. Just to stave off the misery.... Ugh.
Once again, not meant to be a depressing post. Laugh at me at your will. Just don't tell me about it except on days when my hair looks good and I've had plenty to eat. :)
First off, I would just like to say you're awesome. You made me laugh, and made me sad all within a couple minutes. You're able to take any life situation and make it so interesting to read no matter what! You are just so gosh darn talented.
ReplyDeleteI totally know how you feel about wishing you could impose more on people. When I read your story I couldn't help but think that is totally something I would do, and like you, want to punch myself for afterwards. And I don't think you're trying to make this sound like a depressing post. We all cry, we all have sucky days, and we all vent about it. Fortunately for you, your venting is actually entertaining to read.