Dorm Loneliness

Freaking tragedy, y'all. Here's little old me thinking I'll be able to do the saltine challenge because (1) I love saltines, (2) I can eat them like nobody's business, and (3) I've got a pretty wet mouth.

For any party watching this, the Saltine Challenge is trying to eat 6-7 saltines (depending on the version of the challenge) in a minute without the aid of any beverage or liquid or whatever. So yeah ... here's my pitiful attempt.

P.S. The music player is down at the bottom if you need to turn the music off to hear the video.

Bad Timing

One second, you're reveling in your success, so surprised and overjoyed that things worked so well the way you wanted them to, and so quickly and easily.

The next, you find you find that you have the worst timing in the world, and that that little, "Maybe I should take those stairs" would have been better advice to follow than the, "What are the odds?" It turns out that when your name is Kayla, those particular odds are dang good.

Ugh.

--Once Hardly Working, Now Working Hard

a.k.a. Kayla.

WEEKEND

I love weekends. Though I have to admit that (aside from having French class every single day which is kind of horrific) this week has been FREAKING AWESOME. No really. I've had so much fun, possibly wasted a ton of time, gone to the Wyview Creamery, and enjoyed every minute of it. Though I do think I should have bought those Starbursts and also some crackers or something. Dude, I'm hungry and I swear, it's the meds. It's not like I need to eat to feel better. I need to eat because my stomach is about to burst into tears because I don't love it enough to keep it satisfied all the time! Anyways, this week has been GOOD. I don't know exactly why it has been so good ... I just have fun every single day, I'm staying on top of my homework, and I don't know how the heck I'm doing it. Granted, I've stayed up kind of late and been kind of sleep deprived, but today I didn't have to go to class until noon so I totally got to sleep in and catch up on some of those Zzz's I'd been missing out on. Tomorrow morning, I will catch up on some more.

I think part of the deal is that most of my homework doesn't feel so much like homework. Or it at least doesn't feel pointless. I've been reading a book (and while admittedly it's for homework, it's Twilight. How can I feel like that's homework? I CAN'T!). I've been watching movies that I like. I don't have horrid days with 5 classes each. I had a delicious L&T wrap. I feel like I'm accomplishing things. I feel happier. I wish I knew what the key to this whole thing is ... because I would be doing it EVERY DAY if I knew what it was.

Anyways, laundry calls. :(

Kayla

Names, Love Life Games, Privacy, and Books

On MLIA, someone pointed out that they realized that a family with four children in girl, boy, boy OR girl, boy could name their children in this order, from eldest to youngest: Anna, Ken, Sky(e), Walker. I think that would be kind of ridiculously cool, albeit a little weird.

I was recently thinking about the names I would choose for future children, and here's a problem I have: I think of TONS of girls names, but hardly any boys names. For girls, I am absolutely certain that I want to name my first Mirah. It's the name of one of the most admirable characters in literature—a Jewish girl from the novel Daniel Deronda. I also like the names Darcy, Athena, Olivia, Sophie, Abaigael (Hebrew style ... because Hebrew and Jews are cool), and Evie/Evelynn.

As for boys, I'm really into the classic boy names, like David and Henry, and then I like family names like Dee (though I'd definitely consider that for a girl). But look at how many boy names I like compared to how many girl names I like. Not that it's so much of an issue (Hey Natalie, remember that IHOP text? Hahahaha)... but I still like thinking about it.

Now it's time to vaguely mention the name of one person that, no matter what I do or where I go, that person's name (or part of their name) seems to magically appear. That's annoying. I'm also going to vaguely mention a person whose name reminds me of the stuff that generally ends up in tissues when you blow your nose, unless you're horribly unfortunate and sneeze when trying to blow your nose and absentmindedly lose control of your tissue and don't sneeze directly into it. Just gonna throw that out there into the vastness of the internet so I feel like it's not bouncing around in my head and begging me to say it in public when it's totally not appropriate.

Okay ... on to love life games. Although I love MASH, and it's great, and most recently it put me in a mansion doing the job I would love to do more than anything and driving Baby Blue... I have to say that certain other aspects paled ridiculously in comparison to the very fun face-card love life interpretation that my roommate did for me. It was awesome, in so many more ways than anyone but us can even appreciate. Goodness, the coincidences.... I feel like my life funnels a constant stream of strange coincidences into my lap, almost tempting me to take them seriously. Alas, it is sometimes hard not to. But here's the straight facts kids: stupid coincidences are stupid coincidences. There are, of course, other "coincidences" that are so much more than mere coincidences, but the ones I'm talking about are totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And yet totally amusing. Ultimately, I'm glad they're in my life.

Now onto my next topic: privacy. Here's another straight fact. I judge girls who don't make their profiles 100% private. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love that they don't make them private because it gives me something to do when I'm horribly bored (not that I mean to stalk people, I just like to look at pretty pictures, especially people in formal dresses, and it's not remotely creepin'. It merely happens to be way easier than Googling fancy dresses). Anyways, girls who don't bother to make all of their pictures private are girls who are hoping that one of their friends will have a cute friend who will look at their pictures and be like, "Whoa that girl's cute, I want to be her friend." Are there any other reasons not to be 100% private on Facebook? NO. And that is why I judge them unscrupulously.

Finally, books. Tonight, I will be reading Twilight. Yes, I have already read the entire series. Yes, I have read Twilight itself more than once. No, this is not a pleasure read (though it's way more fun than your intense textbooks suckahs!!!). The fact is, Twilight is my textbook. I'm sure if, somehow, you're reading this, you already know this fact about me. But it still makes me feel like I'm getting off easy, and I feel less like I'm bragging about it when it's to the open cyberspace than I do when it's to people. So, cyberspace, BRAG BRAG BRAGGITY BRAG.

So yeah ... that's about it. It's after midnight again and I've got some reading [ ;) ] to do. Haha.

Kaylanator, of the GSA-ators.

Healthcare... Yeah Right

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."
2 Timothy 3:1-5

I have to say that that's the main thing I thought of after reading the article on Yahoo about how "Some married couples would pay thousands of dollars more for the same health insurance coverage as unmarried people living together, under the health insurance overhaul plan pending in Congress."

All I can help but think is that this is one of those ways that the world is being corrupted and people are being encouraged to cohabitate instead of choosing to be married. I mean, if it weren't for the glamor of weddings, is there really any incentive for most people to get married?

I discount, of course, people like myself who consider marriage a vital part of my own future. But I was raised to consider marriage a vital part of the future——I just can't exactly imagine a future without marriage. And I swear, I'm not crazy or brainwashed to think this way... I just know where to find the greatest, truest sort of happiness in life, that's all. (And really, for those of you who'd dare oppose me, what things in life can even come close to bringing as much happiness as marriage and families?)

But back to my main point ... isn't this just another excuse for people to be "lovers of their own selves" and "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God"?

I kinda think so. :(

To The Flavor I Know Best

Dear Vanilla,

I think it's tragic that no matter how boring you are, no matter how much spicing up you need with caramel syrup or sprinkles or maraschino cherries or chunks of Oreo, when it comes down to actually picking ice cream, I almost always pick you? I've been thinking about this, as the Cannon Center provides official BYU Creamery ice cream on most Sunday afternoons, and I would ten times rather have soft serve with goodies on it than lumps of over-flavored, colored options. I mean, you are so dull, vanilla, so predictable, so absolutely common... and yet I was never one to go for rich, wonder-filled desserts.

Perhaps my horizons have not been sufficiently widened, perhaps I merely need to develop a more expensive taste, perhaps I have not been exposed to enough of higher dessert-age to know how to properly appreciate it... or perhaps I'm merely an idiot who is simply too stupid to truly enjoy a proper serving of ice cream when it's sitting right in front of me.

You know, when I was younger, I was all about the bubblegum ice cream from Baskin Robbins that had heart-shaped pink pieces of gum mixed into it. But as time goes by, I steer far from chocolate (as usual), and far from the super sweet flavors, and generally stick by some simple variant of vanilla. Maybe that's all I want from my ice cream experience ... a simple variant on vanilla. Something a little more sophisticated, but nothing too grand. Something a little less in danger of going terribly wrong (I recall my 1998 experience with a particularly sour chocolate dipped cone from Dairy Queen...).

It makes me think of pizza (oh yes, another food metaphor is en route!). I used to only want pepperoni, and then all of the sudden, I found myself thinking, "Pepperoni is too spicy ... better to go cheese." I had never been a cheese girl in all my life. I'd have chosen any other pizza over cheese, because I didn't like cheese and I wanted/needed something to stick to the cheese and spread it out a little more or suppress the taste of it or something. But then there I was, choosing cheese over pepperoni. And why was that? I have no idea, and yet I'm sure it's the same reason that I so frequently choose plain vanilla ice cream. The flavor overload is just too much for me; I want something simple, something that won't throw curve balls at me, something that will always behave exactly as expected, something that will never surprise me.

So is that what the problem is? Am I simply too unadventurous? Am I afraid? If so, why? And if not, do I simply have a horrid preference for things that merely create the low standard upon which the ranking of all variations and improvements is based? Why would I choose something so mediocre? Maybe I'm not cut out for the truly exceptional flavor experiences, but I'd like to think that my preferences are not so ordinary and dull.

And yet at the same time, if no one loves vanilla ice cream and cheese pizza, will it just have to sit all alone, unloved and unappreciated? I mean, I hate to admit it, but all things considered, I'd feel kind of bad for it.

But then again, why should I be the one who has to subject myself to a life-long commitment to vanilla? What have I done to deserve such a fate? This I cannot accept. And while, for the moment, I remain (more or less) hung up on vanilla, I simply refuse to hand over the spoons of all my future ice cream bowls over to a flavor that has so little to offer.

So now, vanilla, we must go our separate ways; I must sever ties with you, oh predictable, boring vanilla. If, upon reaching the other side, I find that nothing else suits me better, so be it. But if I find that I have a taste for many other superior flavors, you will see little more of me. Our paths may cross, on holidays next to the pie, or at McDonalds where nothing else is offered, or when everything else sounds gross. However, until such a moment arises, I am,

Most Definitely Not Yours,
The Girl Shooting for 31


SIDE NOTE: If I could make a list of all the weird coincidences and metaphorical applications happening in this post, it would be about a million miles long. Just saying.

Placement Tests

So I had to take a placement test for French to prove that I'm allowed to be in French 102 without taking French 101 at BYU. The test sucked... not that it was hard, it was just annoying, particularly since I haven't had anything to do with French since last May. Anyways, I take the test, get the results, and I get a score of 469, which puts me on the scale at right about ... FRENCH 300+.

Pardon me while I bust a gut.

Not to suggest that I was bad at French in high school. In fact, I was pretty good. But I am certain that I am not sufficiently prepared to take a 300-level French class, particularly considering the fact that returned missionaries usually go straight to 300's level classes when they get back to BYU. I guarantee I am not qualified to be jumping into a language class with a bunch of RMs who have been speaking, essentially fluently, for at least a year of their lives and living among native speakers.

Naturally, I assumed that the reason I got such a high score was because I had guessed really well, so I took it again. And got a 389 (haha... I WAS RIGHT), but that still bumps me up from 102 to 201, and so I have to change classes today I think. Which isn't really surprising to me, I mean they were going over the futur proche and the passé composé, which I have had down pat since like sophomore year. And in a month or so, they're going to talk Le Petit Prince, which I also already know pretty well. I just can't decide if I want my 201 class to have the same book as my 102 class or not. I mean, I've already ordered it, and I'd have to return it, which is a pain, but if the new book were to be cheaper (and I don't know if it is) then that would be okay. I just don't know how I feel about this...

I had talked to a girl who had taken French all through high school, and she said that 201 was too hard for her and that she had to move down to 102. I figured, well I don't want class to be TOO difficult for me, so I should probably just sign up for 102. I didn't really think about the fact that the intensity of my French classes sophomore-senior year was WAY above the intensity of other high schools' French classes. So who do I have to thank for the fact that I'm moving up to a more difficult French class? I know exactly who to thank——Madame Stennett. Now, I admit, French kind of was a pain to me, and I didn't always appreciate the class, and there was quite a bit of frustration that I experienced in connection with that class... But the fact is that, compared to most students who took French in high school, I am far more prepared and far more knowledgeable about the French language, and it's thanks to her. I have a better (although still atrocious) accent because she was a stickler for pronunciation. I read better, I listen better, I write better ... and it's because she made her students practice those things instead of having us play vocabulary games all of the time, or watch films with English subtitles.

I don't know if I'll feel quite up to speed with French 201 in the coming weeks, but I know that going into my 102 class, I didn't feel behind in the slightest (in fact, I felt far ahead of my classmates), and it's thanks to her excellent, albeit firm and high-expectation, teaching. Madame, today I am sincerely grateful for the hard work you put into teaching us, for the fact that you did us a favor in preparing us properly for university level French, for everything you did that, although it made me grumble at the time, has made me as proficient as I am. Thank you :)


In other news, today I ate the top off of a blueberry muffin and felt quite sick afterwards. Perhaps I ate it too quickly? Perhaps my body is telling me to stop having blueberry muffins for breakfast (I've had them every day since getting back to school)? Or maybe it was a bad muffin (but oh, it was delicious)?



Otis ... you are cruel to me.

Anyways, I had written all of this stuff before lunch, and now that I've actually gone to 201 ... I'm a little intimidated. Like, I can't decide if I would rather be at the tippy top of a super easy class, or if I would rather challenge myself. I mean, I just don't want French to be a nightmare, or something that I dread going to, especially in light of the fact that it's an every single day sort of thing. But then again, I don't want to be wasting good scholarship money on a class that's solid reviewing. That's absurd!!!

Well, anyways, randomness ... I think I want to learn Hebrew. Maybe it's because I think Mirah, the Jewess in Daniel Deronda, is one of the most admirable characters in all of literature. Maybe it's because I love Prince of Egypt. Or because ♫ I'm in love with a Jew-man ♫ doo doo doo doo doo doo ♫ hahaha. Just kidding. I don't know ... I think it would be cool. Also, someday I want to go to Jerusalem. Dude. I want to be Jewish. Okay. Not really ... I just think Judaism is super cool. That's the end of it. I'll stop being weird now. I have way too much homework to do ... :( Also, a new freaking textbook to buy tomorrow. Bummer deal, eh?

School, Resolutions, and Ice Cream

When did this happen? I have class in ten hours and ten minutes exactly, (as it is now 11:20) and yet I don't feel like I should be going to school at all. And yet, simultaneously, I don't feel as though I ever left this little dorm room of mine. Perhaps it's as though I have merely slept through the past two and a half weeks, rather than actually traversing through parts of five different states—Utah, Arizona, Missouri, Kansas, and Colorado, to be more specific. But here I am, getting back to the old swing of things. And yet I am not.

This semester I have resolved to make some very specific and important changes in my life, including several in the time management category. I am very excited for this semester to be a golden one, especially considering the fact that the last one, bless its heart, did not go as well as I might have hoped.

And so I have set out to change the life I'm living, and this blog is going to be a part of it. I've discovered over the past semester that the most worthy thoughts that have come to my head have come through writing. Also, I just like the whole idea of blogs... there's something sensational about knowing that you've put a bit of yourself out into the world, and something strangely comforting. Beyond even that, it is better to frequently write in a personal blog than to abuse peoples' Facebook home pages with note publishings. And I find myself starting a LOT of Facebook notes, and then discarding them because I don't want to waste my own and other peoples' time. As I see it, Twitter:Status Updates::Blogs:Notes. Consider this a favor to both parties :)

Anyways, as far as an explanation of my title, there was once a woman who said that "ice cream is happiness condensed." An anonymous source also states, "There's nothing wrong with me that a little ice cream can't fix." Put the two together, and "there's nothing wrong with me that a little condensed happiness can't fix." And so, here I am, condensing my own happiness (and maybe a little less-than-happiness) into blog posts that will help me get and keep my life in order, that will be worth my time, and which will also, hopefully, be worth yours as well.

♥ Kayla