Should Have Knocked On Wood

I am going to have to write this quick because I absolutely HAVE to study for my French midterm which I have to take this afternoon and therefore can only write for the next 17 minutes (aka until 11:45).

I just had the most bizarre experience. Well, that's not quite accurate. What I'm experiencing is like emotional contractions. (Which I guess suggests that I'm in emotional labor and am about to pass an emotional baby, none of which is true or really relevant or even metaphorically applicable, so let's ignore that.) And what I really mean by that is that I'm having really intense bursts of really intense emotions, with downtime in between.

For example, starting about 15 minutes ago, I had an explosive blast of homesickness which had me crying for 5 minutes. About 8 minutes ago (3 minutes after the 5 minute crying jag stopped) I had another burst, which lasted for about 2 minutes. I suspect that in a little while, I will have another burst, and will cry about something else (or the same thing, or nothing at all) for some amount of time and then it'll subside, and come back, and subside for a while longer, and come back again ... and on and on and on.

Now what's causing this? Well, there are a few culprits, and who knows how equally these are contributing, but here's a little list:

• School stress, which is huge because I've got so much to do and so little time to do it, and I really don't want to fail all my classes. Like really, really badly.
• Emotional stress, which is also huge because I just don't have any idea what's going on anywhere and everything else that is stressing me out is making me emotional and then I can't do the things that I need to do.
• Homesickness, because let's face it: I love my fambam and I'm not so keen on taking that Classical Civilizations class during spring term.
• Confusion stress, which means I just don't know what I am doing with my life right now and I feel like I have all these decisions I need to make and I can't make them because I'm so confused and emotional and stressed out and I can't give anything the time that it needs.
• Medical stuff, a.k.a. I didn't get my blood tested in October, and I still didn't get it in November, or December, or January, or February ... and I probably won't have it done in March. I didn't do anything because I felt fine. Also, don't have a car and it's just hard to get stuff like that done when you've got so much else on your plate. But now it's starting to seem like maybe that's causing a problem, since I'm starting to recognize those symptoms that I was having 2+ years ago. Isn't that just great?

The stupid thing is that about a week ago, we were talking about hormones in Marriage and Family, and I was like "Haha. I'm on very particular and specific and steady daily doses of hormones, so I don't really get affected by them. Mood swings? Crying and not being exactly sure why you're crying? Who even has to experience that? Not me!"

Hah. Hah. Hah. I am not amused.