It's because my brain makes up very ... erm ... unique insults.
I think that this must be a pretty typical function, since some of Shakespeare's weirdest (most brilliant?) moments are his insults. There is even an entire online dictionary of his insults: http://www.william-shakespeare.org.uk/shakespeare-insults-dictionary.htm. Not to, in any way, put myself on the same level as Shakespeare, but I think that the human mind gets pretty creative when it wants to tell something else that it sucks.
Unlike Shakespeare's verbose and clever insults, however, mine tend to come in very short phrases, most frequently individual words ... which have absolutely no meaning whatsoever.
Now, you might be getting a little confused right now, and that's completely understandable. You need an example. Let me give you one.
A few days ago, I was perturbed by some person doing some thing that I found rather irritating. Probably something to do with the way that they chose to walk through a hallway or block a path or something similar. My brain said something like this: "Ugh are you serious? Can you not see that there are people here trying to get around you? What's your problem, box elder?"
In case you didn't notice (and you really should have, because I italicized it), the word of that sentence that doesn't make sense is "box elder." Yes, it's technically two words, but it's a single term, so don't get persnickety with me.
As this thought passed through my head, I suddenly forgot about the person doing whatever it was that they were doing, and I wondered what the heck had just come out of my internal mouth. Box elder? Had I heard someone use it that way before? I knew it had something to do with nature, but I couldn't even remember if it was a tree or some kind of stick bug (I just Googled it, and it's a tree... and a bug. Go me).
My first action was to look it up on Urban Dictionary, to see if that had any clarification. (I highly recommend NOT looking up the term "boxelder" on UD, just so you know. It has a "definition," but it's not one you'll have heard, and it's not one you want to hear about.) It clearly had no colloquial meanings that I could have possibly heard.
Really, though, let's think about this. There is no explicable reason for why that word popped into my head at that moment. Who ever even uses that word? I certainly don't, I can't even identify trees, and box elder bugs give me the heebie-geebies ....
So where did it come from? Surprisingly, I think I have an answer for you.
The English language is a delicious one that gives us a lot of different sounds. I'd call it something like ... musically diverse, though not in the traditional sense of the word "music." The production of these sounds creates a physical sensation in our mouths, and, I'd suggest, an emotional response to that physical sensation.
If you don't believe me, read John Keats' ode "To Autumn" out loud, and I dare you not to enjoy the lusciousness of his diction. Your mouth practically explodes. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but you have just got to see what I mean by that. Add on the actual meaning and connotations of each words, and you've practically got a bomb of sensation and meaning sitting right in front of you, waiting for you to immerse yourself in it. I know I'm getting ridiculously English-major-y here, but I can't help it :)
Let's look at a couple of examples of gross words:
1. Moist. Say that one aloud and try not to gag.
2. Flesh. Woof.
3. Pork. Just say it out loud a few times.
4. Puberty. Ehhhhhh.
5. Puss. ... I seem to be selecting a lot of "p" words now ... hmmm ...
6. Nugget.
7. Gluten.
These all just make my mouth feel icky, and then you throw in the meaning of the word, and usually it's just grossie-josie all over the place. Now try to put a bunch of them in a phrase, like "A nugget of moist pork flesh ..." Yeah I'm sorry you all probably just puked. My bad.
You might be wondering right about now what this all has to do with my use of the word "box elder." Say that one out loud a few times. Roll it around in your mouth. Say it with frustration. Annunciate. Throw in a little sarcastic flare. Say the whole phrase if you have to.
If you don't do it, you probably won't get it. And I'm betting most of you probably won't, but I'm telling you, box elder is a very desirable word for the expression of frustration. See, it's got that forceful "b" on the front of it, which gives it power, and that "x" in the middle that gives it a satisfying sting ... The long and short of it is that the physical sensation of saying that word fits really well with the emotion I wanted to express.
But here's the problem: the meaning of the word really detracts from my ability to use it.
I think words are best used, or at least most satisfyingly used, when those three aspects—the emotion being conveyed, the physical sensation and sound of the word, and the meaning of the word—are all aligned.
Let me give you another example. The one that first popped into my head is, unfortunately, not in English. But I think you'll still understand. It comes from the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:9. In English, the verse reads:
"And it came to pass that he saw One descending out of the midst of heaven, and he beheld that his luster was above that of the sun at noonday."
The word I want to focus on here is "luster." I don't much like it in English, but that word in French is "resplendissement." (Type it into Google Translate (make sure the settings are French --> English) and click "listen" if you want to know how it's properly to be pronounced.) Technically, that word translates to "splendor" in English, which is just another cool effect of translation ... but can't you hear the glistening in that word? It just flows smoothly out of your mouth, and twinkles like stars. Not only is there so much emotion to be conveyed as Nephi is talking about Lehi's vision of Christ, but the sound of the word matches that feeling, and the very meaning of the word. They're all right there together, working to achieve an overall word-experience. It's beautiful! (Yes, I'm geeking out over words right now. Just get over it.)
I guess I don't have too much more to say on the subject. I've probably already said too much. Whatever. If you ever questioned my choice to be an English major, there's your proof that I picked right. :) Hahaha.
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