I don't feel dreary, or sad, or tired. Well, a little tired. It is nighttime, after all, and it has been a long day. But that's not what this is making me think of, or making me want.
What this photo makes me want, and oh what I wouldn't give for a good, gentle, rainy summer day at the lake. I am lake-sick right now, bad. I think I've learned this about myself. I don't really get homesick. I get lake-sick. Why? Maybe because it's the only place that has been a constant in my life for over twelve years now. Sure, I've spent more time in other places, other houses that have been "home" for a while. But the lake is something I've always been able to look forward to. Yes, it's a big, scary lake, and it's full of nasty fish, and the water's pretty gross, and there are a ton of bugs, and when the thunder storms come, I start to be afraid of dying and the dock detaching from the property and all of my grandparents' hard-earned possessions disappearing into that murky brown water, never to be seen again. It's not all happiness and joy.
But it kind of still is. :)
And darn it, I miss it right now. I just want to be laying out on a deck chair on a hot afternoon just as a rainstorm blows in, and I want to get soaked until I'm cold. And then I want to go upstairs, take a warm shower, put on my sweats, and sit on the couch or the bed upstairs and just watch it rain, rain, and rain some more. That's what I want right now. That's the state my mind is in right now. That's how I feel, except for the fact that it isn't actually happening.
Is it wrong that I kind of want to go "home," just for this?
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