Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Why would Kayla do this? She has excellent connections, and skills, and sneaky ways of going about things that make her ability to Facestalk someone into practical familial closeness is nigh unto criminal, all with the added bonus of not being totally creepy and using her talents for evil."
And, of course, all these things are true. I have an arsenal of abilities, mostly brought on by excellent deductive skills, reasoning, and awareness of key technological advances that have come about in the past 5 years or so, which make me an excellent source when you're wondering about your next blind date, or trying to find out if that dude you saw in that one show is available, or not. Furthermore, these skills are never used for evil purposes, like totally creeping on strangers beyond the vital information. (Unless you count looking at strangers' wedding albums, but every girl does that, plus I look at wedding blogs, so I really just do that all the time.)
Well, despite all these magnificent things, I have come to the point where the connections between people have seriously creeped me out.
There was that one time when someone posted an album of photos from their FHE group, and one of my friends that I met through my roommate's boyfriend was in that album multiple times. That wasn't strange.
Once I was looking at a friend from MO's new pictures, went to her profile, and saw that we had a mutual friend in a girl that I got to know a little bit in CO. That was kind of random, but not too weird.
It started to get a little shocking when I went to a party hosted by one of the guys in my ward, and, while I was dancing to my heart's content, watched three former floormates (who live rather distant from where we live) walk into the party as well. I mean, there could only have been like 100-150 people who passed through that party that night. And there's only like, over 30,000 students at BYU, PLUS all the UVU kids that live here in Provo, instead of Orem. No big deal.
And then there was how I started going to a university ward back in MO (a 45 minute drive, mind you) and got to know some of the people down there. And then, when I returned to good old BYU, received a phone call from the first counselor of the bishopric of that ward, asking me if he could give his brother-in-law my cell phone number. I said yes, the young man's name was given to me, and I never heard from him. I did, however, see his name pop up on another friend's Facebook status. A friend/former floormate who is now DATING him. I mean, out of the over 30,000 students on campus, he picked one of the less than 100 girls that I could actually knew by name? No. That's not weird at all. Surprising, perhaps. But not at all an uncommon occurrence at the Y.
No, none of these things, surprising or unexpected or weird as they might have seemed for a moment have really fazed me.
But now, a threshold has been crossed and there is some SERIOUS weirdness taking place. This is what happened:
The Short Version:
Unattainable Gorgeous Man of the Week is friend to the little brother of former floormate who is friends with (related to?) a guy that I met on a random outing in early September who is friends with some of my ward BFFs.
The Long Version:
Last week, I decided, on the spur of a moment, to attend a certain event which shall remain nameless. At that event, I was surprised to encounter people I haven't seen in ages, including a certain relative of theirs that I've never met, but heard of, who arbitrarily received status as Unattainable Gorgeous Man of the Week. Because hey, he's really good looking. No big deal, right?
Fast forward to tonight. I'm sitting here, being bored and lonely and whatnot, and I decide to look at a friend's new profile picture. That, of necessity, led to looking at other pictures of that person. As I'm looking at this friend's pictures, I find a picture that I'm in. I look at the other people in the picture with us, wondering who the heck some of them are. I remember one of the guys in the picture, and I remember thinking he was cute, but that there was some barrier to getting to know him, either he was shy or dating someone or who knows what. So I think, What the heck! If his relationship status is on Facebook, then maybe that'll jog my memory and I'll know and I won't have to sit here wondering why the heck I didn't get to know this cute guy better.
Thus went my thoughts, but, behold, once upon his page, I see that we have mutual friends. Two former floormates, in fact! I notice that this young man has the same last name as one of my former floormates. It's a relatively uncommon last name, and I think, surely this girl has a family picture stowed away somewhere in here that can tell me if they're related. We're friends, and so I'm browsing through her pictures, enjoying seeing prom photos and whatnot, until I finally find one family picture.
This is where hindsight tells me I should have stopped because now's the point where it's just late enough that I don't give a crap that I'm being creepy, even though I TOTALLY am being a creeper. At least I'm (wo)man enough, and secure enough in myself to admit to it. (Because you all know that you do the exact same thing, only I'm being honest about it. Judge me, if you will, but only after you consider your own behavior, and your own integrity on the matter!)
So I come to this picture, and, surprise, the guy I'm looking for isn't in the shot, giving me no indication of whether or not these two are related to each other, specifically in the sibling sort of way. However, there is this other kid.
Don't ask me why, because for the life of me I can't fathom why I clicked on his danged name beneath the picture. I mean, the kid is CLEARLY a young'n. We're talking like, my little brother's age. It wasn't some cougar-like tendency or anything weird like that. I'm not a baby licker, like some people are. That's gross.
Regardless, I clicked on the picture.
Now, it has become clear that Facebook's "Friends" box on others' profile pages has a sixth sense regarding the people you might (and really probably do) know. I can't explain it fully, except through the following phenomenon.
As I'm looking at this young man's page, I see our box of mutual friends (aw, how sweet), and then, below it, the box of HIS friends ...
And wouldn't you know, there's the Unattainable Gorgeous Man of the Week.
At that point, I'm all like ... Whhhhhaaaaaatttttt ...... ??????? Because, frankly, this is all so sudden. I only remembered that Gorgeous Man even existed like, a week and a half ago. I've never even met the guy. Just heard about him, and seen him like twice. Maybe only once!
And yet here he is, popping up in the friends list of a high school boy whose older sister was a former floormate of mine who may or may not be related to a kind of cute guy whose relationship status remains mysterious that I met in early September when hanging out with guys who have since become ward BFFs, but who certainly were not at that particular point.
That's weird.
That's REALLY weird.
And the weirdest part about it is that I even realized how weird it was. I'm a little embarrassed that this even happened, and even more so that I'm admitting to it. But I figure we all do weird things, and it's amusing enough that it'd be selfish not to share, right? Also, it's 1:30 in the morning, and I've been alone or with family for the past 5 days, and you can imagine that that has an effect on one's sanity, whether for better or worse. Judge away, my dears. Judge away. I know that, despite my actions in my sleepily-disabled state, I am not a true creeper, and that's good enough for me.
But if you EVER need any Facebook stalking help, don't you DARE come asking me. :P
Really though, I love you all. Hope your Thanksgiving holidays were as wonderful as mine was!
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