Happiness

So, as you might have noticed, this blog has a tendency to favor topics within the realm of the ridiculous, the irritating, the strange, and the completely emotionally haywire. And while it is a lot of fun and/or a lot cathartic to blog this way, sometimes I think it's important to break from that and talk about the good stuff. You may or may not have noticed that for the past year (or more?) I've had some incredible quotes about happiness posted on the right side of my blog. If you haven't read them before, I'd highly recommend it. They are really great, and I put them on there because they do comfort me, and they are reminders to me of the happiness that we can truly have in our lives.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the phrase, "And they lived happily ever after." In fact, I think something to that extent was posted above our front door this past year, so we saw it every time we left the house. Being a total romantic, I love this phrase, and yet I've come to realize that it's often misinterpreted. In fact, I think I was guilty of misinterpreting it for a long time. You see, we watch these movies where the prince finds his princess and they ride off into the sunset, and that's the last we ever hear of them, as if that's all you need to be happy, just to find that one perfect person. So we get ourselves in the mess of searching for our own "happily ever afters." 

Let's switch gears for a minute. I'm going to tell you about one of my favorite scriptures. It's in 2 Nephi 5, and Nephi's talking about how his elder brothers have been making life difficult, so he and everyone willing to follow him have broken off from them. This is basically right when we start having the distinction between the Nephites and Lamanites. They go off by themselves and start their new community, and they're keeping the commandments of the Lord, and they're farming and raising livestock. They're reading the scriptures. They're making weapons to use to protect themselves from the Lamanites. They're learning how to build buildings, and how to work with wood and rocks and metals, and presumably making all kinds of cool things. They're building a temple so that they can worship God. They start to organize the Church by ordaining priests and teachers among the people. And then Nephi puts in this gem——my very favorite verse in this chapter, verse 27: 

"And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness." 

Sound familiar? Except without the slightly deceptive "ever after" part? The way I see it, looking only for our own "happily ever after"s is taking things out of context. As the old lady at the end of Ever After would say, "The point ... is that they lived." 

I think we should take it just a little bit further——the point, really, is that,
They lived happily; they lived after the manner of happiness.

If you've been reading my blog for the past couple of weeks, if you've chatted with me on Facebook, or Skyped with me, or talked to someone who has (and they've been honest with you), you probably know that life has been incredibly difficult for me since I got to London. I have been miserable. I have been desperate to go home. I have swilled who knows how many Pringles of Patheticness. (No, I'm not going to tell you how many.) I have spent days just sitting on a couch trying to pretend I'm not in London. I have procrastinated anything resembling productivity. I have cried Niagra Fallses of tears on a regular basis. In short, it has been anything but a walk in Hyde Park.

But thankfully (blessedly) I turned a corner, and finally realized that I have two choices: 

I can be happy, or I can be miserable. 

That's always the choice though, isn't it? Every day, we are bombarded with choices, and while some of them don't really have any bearing on eternity, just about every other choice can be boiled down to happiness or misery. When we get to the other side, we're going to receive our rewards "according to [our] works, whether they were good or whether they were bad, to reap eternal happiness or eternal misery" (Alma 3:26). We have a choice to be happy or miserable, both now and "ever after." 

So what are we going to do? 

Are we going to be miserable forever? 

Or are we going to live happily, fit our lives and our choices according to the manner of happiness, and endure to the ever after?

Personally, I like the sound of that second option a lot better. Don't you? 

Well, I have both a ton more to say, and nothing left to say, so I think I'll just leave you with a quote from a man whose life was anything but easy. It's one that always inspires me to try more fully to choose to live after the manner of happiness, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God."
- Joseph Smith

P.S. Don't miss out on the Bonus Material——things that didn't make the main-post cut, but which I think are still worth sharing.

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BONUS MATERIAL:

I've been thinking about this post for a long while, but every time I've thought about it, it sounded like a rant. You just can't rant about happiness; it's fundamentally backwards. But the past couple days have been very special for me. I've seen the Lord's hand unfolding in front of me, reminding me that He's there, that He cares about me and is watching over me. I've been reminded of how many people care for me, and of how grateful I am for the incredible friends and family members that have blessed my life so much over the past twenty-one-and-then-some years. You are truly special angels in my life, and I am so indebted to you for the way that you have shaped my life, and thereby the person that I am and that I am becoming. Simply saying, "Thank you," couldn't possibly be enough to express what you all mean to me!

Also, you might be wondering if I'm actually doing this, or just blowing hot air. I can assure you that I'm not preaching anything I'm not trying desperately to practice. Let me tell you a little bit about how I turned this corner and how I'm trying to "live after the manner of happiness."

1. I have accepted, without restraint, the fact that this is going to be my life for the next nine weeks. This is something I cannot change. Among the other things I cannot change are: other people, anything happening anywhere else in the world, and the direction of traffic. There is absolutely no use in fretting about anything I cannot change. 
2. I have come to recognize that, no matter whether this situation is a horrible mistake I made or the most brilliant and exciting summer of my life, there is something that God has in store for me here. Things to learn; people to meet and get to know better; time to refine myself; an opportunity that will prepare me for, and open doors in, the future. No matter how rough it is or how much I want to go home, there is good to be had in this place if I am willing to receive it.
3. On days when I just don't have it in me to be excited about being here, it's okay. I can still be happy and excited! Why/how? Because there are so many happy things in store for me for the rest of my life! I have exciting classes to take in the fall! Eventually, I'm going to go home! I'm going to see my family and friends again! Life is going to be awesome! So today's terrible? What of it!? It's just one measly drop in a bucket of eternal happiness! Who ever said I could only be happy and excited about things that are happening in the present or at least immediate future? No one! So I can be happy right now about the future, be happy about forever, because I are going to be exquisitely happy for eternity if I choose to be so.
4. I've realized that it's okay to not want to be here, and that feeling that way doesn't make me an ungrateful snot. I always want to try to be happy, but emotions are real and ignoring them or suppressing them doesn't make them go away, it makes them worse. 
5. I take time to take care of myself. I've made the conscious decision not to push myself too hard, and to do what I need to do to be happy. Whether it's getting out of the house and going for a walk, buying some Pringles, or watching an episode of TV, I do it. Not out of gluttony, but out of self-preservation. As I like to tell myself, "If you can't call mom, buy chocolate." Or whatever it is I need in that moment. 
6. I make sure to make time for scripture study, prayer, church, and institute. When I can, I play the piano because it helps me feel the Spirit. Guaranteed, if I want to have an irreparably terrible day where I feel completely drained and hopeless, it's because I skipped on filling the spiritual tank. True, it doesn't mean I'm going to have a perfect day when I do these things, but I absolutely believe that making time for the Lord makes the day better than it would be otherwise. 
7. I made a schedule and set goals. My mother is going to laugh so hard at this because if anyone knows how much I loathe the concept of setting goals, it's my mom. I used to hate them, and passionately. But all that being said, nothing makes the time fly like having an approaching deadline, and thankfully, I've given myself a lot of them. This way I also know what my research focus is every week, and  have time set aside every day for personal scripture study, journal writing, etc. which is also a huge help. With goals and a schedule, I have things to focus on, and stuff I can accomplish and pat myself on the back for at the end of every day.

So there, dear and beloved ones. There's my recipe for happiness. Have a lovely, lovely day :)