The Bachelor, Good Weather, and Other Stories

So I have not written a blog post in quite some time, and I have a bunch of random thoughts bouncing around in my head, and I think it will help me clear up the chaos if I blab a little about each one. So yeah ... Here goes nothing!!!

Just got done watching the Bachelor. I know I should have been doing homework, but I can't resist the drama. That being said, this episode was disappointing. I mean, the main kicker was that Ali called him and in the preview, they only showed him saying, "Get on a plane and get here as fast as you can." But actually the full quote was "I would like to tell you to get on a plane and get here as fast as you can, but ... [blah blah blah his heart whatever]." That was kinda frustrating because Ali was my favorite from the start. I guess it's her fault for choosing her job over him. I mean, yeah, that's a scary thing, and if it had been me in that situation, and he'd told me I wasn't even on the chopping block that night, I think I'd have chosen him. Of course, I'm a total romantic, and no good love story has an "oh, I think I'll pick my job over you" moment. That just doesn't happen. (This is my inner English major thinking novel-style, mind you.)

The other part that really bothered me was his whole, "Hey, let's sleep together! [ABC Censors go freaking CRAZY] I mean, stay together as a couple... hehe." Good grief, I mean Rozalyn TOTALLY slept with a producer (oh wait, 'entered into an inappropriate relationship with a staffer'). Call it like it is people. This is ridiculous.

Finally, ... GIA?!?!?!?!? I mean, I realize that Vienna brings out a part of Jake that is much more playful than with any other woman (which is why Ali would have been perfect because she can be both playful AND serious. But whatever. She's an idiot, and why would she expect the poor guy to hang onto feelings for her once she just up and left him??). And I understand that you can love different aspects of different people equally, but COME ON. She's so immature! He's freaking 31, and all that crap about "maturing together" ... JAKE, YOU CAN'T MATURE TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IMMATURE WHEN YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!! Okay. That's off my chest. But he talked all about how his date with Gia was the most magical date of his life, how he was in love with her "beautiful heart." And although I didn't really like her, per se, at least she was nice and not crazy. I just hope Jake picks Tenley in two weeks (what's with this bogus "catching up" with previous bachelors/bachelorettes?) and NOT Vienna. Because, (1) Tenley > Vienna... in pretty much every single way, (2) Vienna doesn't deserve Jake ... I feel like she's a hunter, and she's laying sexual/emotional/mental traps for Jake so he doesn't catch onto what a floosy she is, and, finally, (3) Tenley so does not deserve to get hurt again. She's the least slutty of everyone, and she freaking slept with him, loosened her morals because she didn't want to lose him ... and I think I will want to kick his trash if he trashes her heart. Like, he will go down as the stupidest bachelor in history. Just saying. That's my opinion. If he picks Vienna, I will forever give up The Bachelor. Probably. I might watch a Bachelorette season, just for kicks and giggles.

So Sunday was like the most gorgeous day in FOREVER. I am so ready for it to be summer. Especially with all this Bachelor-going-to-the-Caribbean stuff. I am ready to jump into a bathing suit and sit out in the sunshine all day! Oh man, that will be so much fun!!! Woo! And Oceanside! And hopefully Disneyland! :D I think I will look for swimsuits online ... NOW! Haha. Oh man. I just can't wait for it to be summer. I am SUCH a summer girl. I want to live on the beach for like ... a couple years when I first get married. If I ever get up the guts to get married. Haha.

Dorian Gray ... Oh. Em. Gosh. Ben Barnes. I seriously am so separated from the plot in that movie it's not even funny. It is all about enjoying how fantastic he looks. Dude. I want to marry him. Haha. Hopefully he's not as much of a douche as Dorian Gray is, because that whole Whore-Bisexual-Murderer thing really doesn't work for me, you know, in the eternal perspective. L-o-freaking-l. Except that wouldn't be funny if he really was like that. Pray for the missionaries in London to teach him. JUST KIDDING. I mean, of course I hope for everyone on the earth to receive the Gospel. But like ... I swear I'm not creeping. It's fun to be obsessed with actors. Also, I think it helps me be more chill. Like, all my boy-craziness is used up on this image of this person that doesn't respond. And I'm not even serious about it. I mean, he's seriously sexy, but I don't legitimately believe I will end up with him or anything. It's just fun. Straight up. I wouldn't have trouble not thinking about him a bit for the rest of my life, easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. I barely even notice the photo on the door anymore. True story. Try it some time. Be a crazy fangirl for a day—throw your whole self into it. It will be enjoyable, I swear. Haha. Besides that, it's a distraction. And not a lame distraction like StumbleUpon.

Guess what day today is?! MARDI GRAS. Hah. Just kidding. I don't care that it's Mardi Gras. But I DO care that it's CHOCOLATE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even like chocolate that much, but I am excited for it because it's such a novelty. Hopefully it is good chocolate and not icky waxy stuff. Hurry up and get home because I WANT TO GO! Haha.

Okay ... umm ... what else ... Oh. Here we go: I decided that when I get to heaven, I'm going to have the most glorified karaoke thing EVER. Like, I will have an enormous stage with an excellent microphone and periodically, I will go in there and pretend like I'm a rock star. Because that would be a fun time. I wish I could do it now. I mean, if I could have a huge stage all to myself one day, and just sing at the top of my lungs, I would enjoy it so hugely. I wouldn't want anyone else to be there, because the nerves would wreck the fun of it. But doesn't that just sound like the funnest thing ever? I think so.

I really want to go canoeing. Real bad.

I really do not want to do my homework. Ever. Ugh. Homework is the worst. Especially when everything you need to do is reading stuff. That's not fun. I mean, I like to read. I just don't like to be forced to read. I don't really like to be forced to do anything. I think I'm like ... closet-independent. I mean, I will go along with stuff, but when people are trying to talk me into doing things I don't want to do, I will resist like nobody's business. Which sometimes makes my life a nightmare (like when I suddenly have about a million pages of reading to do in one night), but whatever. At least I have something of a backbone.

I wish I could major in movie watching.

So ... the chocolate fountain was kinda gross and waxy. Whatever. It was a novel experience. And by novel, I don't mean like from a novel. I mean a novelty. Hah.

My fingernails are totally black right now. Muahahahaha.

--Pepe