A Word About Excitement and Cyber-Stalking

While some people are chipping away at stats homework ... I am over here being a creeper. You don't know it, but I really am. You know, I wish they would make it much more difficult to stalk people online. But heck, it's so easy. And I do read rather quickly. Also, I am fighting the urge to scream and/or dance around because I'm so danged excited for The Event. Not the lame BYUSA Event, but That Even Which Will Commence on Tuesday.... gasp. Gasp and a half. Good thing I'm not eating, or I might choke...

I am so dysfunctional right now. Good on me for finishing the vast majority of my homework earlier.

Nuance

Okay, so I realize that I pretty much am irritated by all of the girls currently in Nuance (with the exception, of course, of the lovely and wonderfully talented and sweet and incredible Emma Leavitt). I know it's a flaw, but it's a fact. They've bugged me since they were freshmen, the year after a bunch of amazing seniors left and so they, the less talented incoming class, got pushed up into higher choirs, and especially when all the super good guys left and there were no boys left to be in Jazz Choir after Fusion got filled so they made Jazz and all girls choir, and then the egos just got blown out of proportion ... but I digress.

The thing that's bugging me is that, although I have deep feelings about this, I'M NOT SUCH AN INFANT THAT I CAN'T HANDLE KNOWING THAT MR. JEPPSON BROUGHT NUANCE OUT HERE THIS WEEK. I mean, seriously?? People keep saying stuff like "Oh, I didn't want to tell you" and "Oh, he told you?" as though I'm not mature enough to handle the fact that they annoy me. Good grief people, how old do you think I am? Yes, they annoy me. And yes, the fact that they're taking trips bothers me. BUT I AM NOT A CHILD AND I CAN FREAKING HANDLE IT, OKAY??? In fact, it is more irritating to me that people think I can't handle it than by the fact that it's actually happening!!!!! Geeze louise. So annoying.

WHO AM I GOING TO TAKE OWLING???????

The Bachelor, Good Weather, and Other Stories

So I have not written a blog post in quite some time, and I have a bunch of random thoughts bouncing around in my head, and I think it will help me clear up the chaos if I blab a little about each one. So yeah ... Here goes nothing!!!

Just got done watching the Bachelor. I know I should have been doing homework, but I can't resist the drama. That being said, this episode was disappointing. I mean, the main kicker was that Ali called him and in the preview, they only showed him saying, "Get on a plane and get here as fast as you can." But actually the full quote was "I would like to tell you to get on a plane and get here as fast as you can, but ... [blah blah blah his heart whatever]." That was kinda frustrating because Ali was my favorite from the start. I guess it's her fault for choosing her job over him. I mean, yeah, that's a scary thing, and if it had been me in that situation, and he'd told me I wasn't even on the chopping block that night, I think I'd have chosen him. Of course, I'm a total romantic, and no good love story has an "oh, I think I'll pick my job over you" moment. That just doesn't happen. (This is my inner English major thinking novel-style, mind you.)

The other part that really bothered me was his whole, "Hey, let's sleep together! [ABC Censors go freaking CRAZY] I mean, stay together as a couple... hehe." Good grief, I mean Rozalyn TOTALLY slept with a producer (oh wait, 'entered into an inappropriate relationship with a staffer'). Call it like it is people. This is ridiculous.

Finally, ... GIA?!?!?!?!? I mean, I realize that Vienna brings out a part of Jake that is much more playful than with any other woman (which is why Ali would have been perfect because she can be both playful AND serious. But whatever. She's an idiot, and why would she expect the poor guy to hang onto feelings for her once she just up and left him??). And I understand that you can love different aspects of different people equally, but COME ON. She's so immature! He's freaking 31, and all that crap about "maturing together" ... JAKE, YOU CAN'T MATURE TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IMMATURE WHEN YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!! Okay. That's off my chest. But he talked all about how his date with Gia was the most magical date of his life, how he was in love with her "beautiful heart." And although I didn't really like her, per se, at least she was nice and not crazy. I just hope Jake picks Tenley in two weeks (what's with this bogus "catching up" with previous bachelors/bachelorettes?) and NOT Vienna. Because, (1) Tenley > Vienna... in pretty much every single way, (2) Vienna doesn't deserve Jake ... I feel like she's a hunter, and she's laying sexual/emotional/mental traps for Jake so he doesn't catch onto what a floosy she is, and, finally, (3) Tenley so does not deserve to get hurt again. She's the least slutty of everyone, and she freaking slept with him, loosened her morals because she didn't want to lose him ... and I think I will want to kick his trash if he trashes her heart. Like, he will go down as the stupidest bachelor in history. Just saying. That's my opinion. If he picks Vienna, I will forever give up The Bachelor. Probably. I might watch a Bachelorette season, just for kicks and giggles.

So Sunday was like the most gorgeous day in FOREVER. I am so ready for it to be summer. Especially with all this Bachelor-going-to-the-Caribbean stuff. I am ready to jump into a bathing suit and sit out in the sunshine all day! Oh man, that will be so much fun!!! Woo! And Oceanside! And hopefully Disneyland! :D I think I will look for swimsuits online ... NOW! Haha. Oh man. I just can't wait for it to be summer. I am SUCH a summer girl. I want to live on the beach for like ... a couple years when I first get married. If I ever get up the guts to get married. Haha.

Dorian Gray ... Oh. Em. Gosh. Ben Barnes. I seriously am so separated from the plot in that movie it's not even funny. It is all about enjoying how fantastic he looks. Dude. I want to marry him. Haha. Hopefully he's not as much of a douche as Dorian Gray is, because that whole Whore-Bisexual-Murderer thing really doesn't work for me, you know, in the eternal perspective. L-o-freaking-l. Except that wouldn't be funny if he really was like that. Pray for the missionaries in London to teach him. JUST KIDDING. I mean, of course I hope for everyone on the earth to receive the Gospel. But like ... I swear I'm not creeping. It's fun to be obsessed with actors. Also, I think it helps me be more chill. Like, all my boy-craziness is used up on this image of this person that doesn't respond. And I'm not even serious about it. I mean, he's seriously sexy, but I don't legitimately believe I will end up with him or anything. It's just fun. Straight up. I wouldn't have trouble not thinking about him a bit for the rest of my life, easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. I barely even notice the photo on the door anymore. True story. Try it some time. Be a crazy fangirl for a day—throw your whole self into it. It will be enjoyable, I swear. Haha. Besides that, it's a distraction. And not a lame distraction like StumbleUpon.

Guess what day today is?! MARDI GRAS. Hah. Just kidding. I don't care that it's Mardi Gras. But I DO care that it's CHOCOLATE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even like chocolate that much, but I am excited for it because it's such a novelty. Hopefully it is good chocolate and not icky waxy stuff. Hurry up and get home because I WANT TO GO! Haha.

Okay ... umm ... what else ... Oh. Here we go: I decided that when I get to heaven, I'm going to have the most glorified karaoke thing EVER. Like, I will have an enormous stage with an excellent microphone and periodically, I will go in there and pretend like I'm a rock star. Because that would be a fun time. I wish I could do it now. I mean, if I could have a huge stage all to myself one day, and just sing at the top of my lungs, I would enjoy it so hugely. I wouldn't want anyone else to be there, because the nerves would wreck the fun of it. But doesn't that just sound like the funnest thing ever? I think so.

I really want to go canoeing. Real bad.

I really do not want to do my homework. Ever. Ugh. Homework is the worst. Especially when everything you need to do is reading stuff. That's not fun. I mean, I like to read. I just don't like to be forced to read. I don't really like to be forced to do anything. I think I'm like ... closet-independent. I mean, I will go along with stuff, but when people are trying to talk me into doing things I don't want to do, I will resist like nobody's business. Which sometimes makes my life a nightmare (like when I suddenly have about a million pages of reading to do in one night), but whatever. At least I have something of a backbone.

I wish I could major in movie watching.

So ... the chocolate fountain was kinda gross and waxy. Whatever. It was a novel experience. And by novel, I don't mean like from a novel. I mean a novelty. Hah.

My fingernails are totally black right now. Muahahahaha.

--Pepe

The Potty Press

So I've been wanting to say something about this for a long time, but I don't want to sound like I'm griping. I really have no true beef with this thing, but I have this weird enjoyment thing about pointing out things that don't make sense. So here it goes:

Why in the heck are there recipes on The Potty Press??

I mean, let's think about this for a second. (1) There is but one kitchen for all, what, 250 of us girls living here? And it's gross and in the 2nd darkest corner of the building (the first darkest corner of the building is definitely the elevator area in the basement ... *shudder*), (2) Most of the ingredients (with the possible exception of the grilled cheese recipe) are not available at our nearest Creamery. Nor are many of them located at the Wyview Creamery, most likely. We can't use our Monopoly money at the Creamery on 9th, and most of us don't have cars to take us to Macey's or Walmart to get the ingredients we need.

Now, at this point, the fact that none of us are going to be cooking in the basement is, more or less, moot point. Therefore, there is only one thing we are to be left to believe: that these recipes are for future reference. Oddly enough, this provides a whole host of problems for me to talk about. (3) There are only 4 Potty Presses per bathroom. Assuming everyone will need to cook next year, it would make sense that all of us would want to take advantage of these recipes. Except that, if distributed evenly, each of us would only receive one tenth of a complete Potty Press, and there is no doubt that not a single person would find themselves possessing an entire recipe at the end of such a distribution.

And so we come to the fourth and final point. (4) If we are not to possess the Potty Press, it must needs follow that we are to copy down the recipes. In order to copy down the recipes, we would have to bring a pen and paper (or at least just a pen, so that we could copy it onto some T.P. ... which would be difficult, as it would hardly stand up to such pressure.) And then there's this whole thing where you're taking a piddle whilst copying a recipe for Apple Crisp (or something like unto it) onto a sheet of toilet paper, using your naked upper leg as a writing surface which is certainly not going to be a very successful pursuit. By the time you come out, you're carrying a piece of toilet paper covered in black chicken scratch, and it's probably a little ripped up. And then you have to wash your hands, and by the time you get back to your room you're thinking, "Why the heck did I copy this down? Like I'm going to hang onto this nasty bit of toilet paper until next year in my apartment!" And then you throw it away and it's been a total waste.

Do you see what I'm saying? I mean, obviously the answer is yes (there are words, you see them ... HAH. Punny? Idk. Whatever. Bah-dump-CLANG) but do you understand my point?

RECIPES ON THE POTTY PRESS ARE USELESS!!!!

Again, let me say that I really have no problem with The Potty Press. I find it quite enjoyable to think about stuff other than using the bathroom while using the bathroom. I'm just... sayin'.

The End.