Stupid Sarcasm

Maybe I'm just imagining things, but I've been seeing the following pop up in a lot (and I mean a LOT) of status updates on Facebook. Maybe you're familiar with it. It goes a little something like this:

" That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid! "

Now, maybe I'm a meanie, but I often find myself tempted to leave the following in the comments:

" That awkward moment when your stupid is so advanced that you actually think you're sarcastic. "

 Oh my honeys ... Please leave the building. Just ... please.

Loneliness

I don't like how long it's been since I wrote a blog post. Nope, not at all. I also don't like being swamped with school work and studying and tests and papers and all that crap. I wish we didn't have to have all this institutionalized garbage. I wanna go back to togas and the School of Athens, where we all just sit around and talk, and then bam ... one day you're just legit and that's the end of it. I really need to take fewer classes next semester.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately about being lonely. I've had a few times recently where I've felt that way, and I'm sure that there will be many more in the coming months. I mean, I'm at this point where the summer months don't really have anything for me. I've got nothing for me here in Provo, and nothing really for me in MO either, except a job and my family. But even still, there's no progress to be had anywhere it seems like. Just me, waiting around for things to happen. Hopefully that's not how terrible it is. But getting back to what I was getting at ...

Sometimes we get lonely. And not just a little lonely. I'm talking all-consuming aloneness, deep and bitter feelings of abandonment. Whether or not we are actually as alone as we feel or not, the fact remains that those feelings are there, and therefore they are real, and we are lonely.

The funny thing is that we can't just feel lonely and function normally, even act normally. We do things to either cope with or indulge our feelings (and sometimes both).

Sometimes the things we do are stupid.

I don't necessarily mean stupid-dangerous, or stupid-illegal, or stupid-big-consequences. Just stupid. Stupid-little-consequences, or stupid-insensitive, or stupid-selfish, or a whole host of other things. Only, when we do these things, we're stuck in lonely-land ... the one inside our heads. It's like temporary, mild insanity, and what I want to know is are we responsible for acts borne out of loneliness?

I know it's kind of a weird question ... but are we? I mean sure, you can control your feelings to some extent. But sometimes you let your guard down for a little bit, and suddenly you realize you've completely given yourself over to these unhappy feelings, and you're not in the driver's seat anymore. And that's when you do the stupid things.

But is it really your fault? I mean, your head is swimming with unhappiness, and you are legitimately (at least slightly) completely nuts. Can you really be held responsible for anything you do in such a condition?

I don't know. I want to say no.

I also want to tell my inner immature self to grow up. Hah.

One of "Those" ...

I think we've lost our articulateness, as a society. I was just thinking about how this week has been one of "those" weeks, and how somehow that has become an all-encompassing word to mean anything from "the most awful, dreadful, nightmarish 7-day period of my life" to "nothing happened that merits the effort of speech."

With what audacity do we dare sum up 168 God-given hours in such a pathetic, ambiguous word? Especially one that is usually attended with a negative connotation?

It's hard to say why we choose to do this. Do we think other people don't care about our lives? Do we not care about our lives? Are we afraid that they will be annoyed or bored with the things we have to say? Do we have anything to say? Or do we simply not know how to say it?

I can't help but think right now of Taylor Mali's slam poem "Totally like whatever, you know?" Watch it. It's awesome. :)

Are we so uncertain about the value of the things we have to say, do we have so little emotion invested in the things that happen to us, that we simply cannot articulate our own lives?

And isn't that something that's kind of important? Shouldn't we be able to talk about our lives, about the things we think, and about the things that are important to us?

Where things really get confusing for me is how we simultaneously have people who will post on Facebook every single thing they do and every single thing they feel. "SOOOOOO annoyed :(((((((((((" or "Bobbie Butthead is at Chile's right now. Chicken Enchilada Soup. YUMMMM." (I recognize that I'm being really immature by including the word "butthead" in my blogpost, but at this point I just don't even care. Judge me at your will and pleasure.)

Do we simply have no idea what is worth documenting and discussing? Or are we just afraid to talk about the things that actually ARE worth documenting and discussing because we don't want people to argue with us and judge us? Do we just not develop our opinions deep enough to have understanding sufficient TO argue them?

Are we so afraid of sounding stupid that we aren't willing to take the chance of sounding smart?

Whiners

I really hate whiners. I realize that I am a(n extremely verbose) complainer quite often, but at least I have legitimate reasons to back up my complaints. And when they aren't legitimate, they are always well-worded and/or extensively passionate. Despite my periodic dips in the Well of Whining, I feel that the particular situation I wish to discuss is an unusually legitimate, and is one for which I feel more than usually passionate. As to well-worded-ness, that is yet to be seen. But I hope that it will be so.

Seriously, though, this is a very big deal to me, and I refuse to remain silent about it. Here's the problem: Some students (yes, at BYU) seem to be severely afflicted with a sense of entitlement that renders them rude, and is, frankly, an embarrassment to our fine educational institution.

I've noticed the tendency towards this sense of entitlement a few times through my experience at BYU, particularly as I've taken my GE classes. I suppose this can be partially attributed to freshmen, just out of high school and used to waltzing through their classes without even grazing over the thought of making an effort, and maybe that's why they think that they have a right to have every answer to every test question handed to them on a solid-gold platter without having to learn anything that they won't actually be tested on. Maybe that's where the problem is originating. I HOPE that that's the only place it's coming from. I'd be even more embarrassed to be numbered among the students in my class, who really are acting like a skid mark on the undies of our campus.

Just to be clear, I've had two GE classes this semester, Biology 100 and Sociology 111, and as I've attended the final reviews for each of these classes, there have been multiple students who have sat around complaining about having to know things that aren't on the test. Like two extra percentages, or a couple more dates. When my Biology TA listed the three statistics that we should know, a student asked, "But which ones are actually going to be on the test?" My TA said, "You just need to know them. One of them could be on the test, or all of them." The kid was obviously not satisfied with this answer, and the girls sitting directly behind me said in softish voices, "This isn't a game. Why won't he just tell us?" Later, while the TA was writing something on the board, the girl next to me leaned over and said, "It's better if you take your contacts because then you can't see how ridiculous it is that he's writing that on the board."

Now, I'm going to admit that even though I went to most of the lectures, I in no way have been paying attention for the past month or so. Considering the barrenness of the classroom and the tendency of numberless concourses of students to leave mid-lecture (which really is so disrespectful I could just spit), I'd say there's a pretty decent chance that the majority of the people in the review weren't coming to class, and of those who were there, they probably weren't paying much more attention than I was. And let's be honest, if you really pay decent attention in class, reviews aren't that necessary. Helpful, yes, but not necessary. You can get a very decent grade without them. Very decent.

As one of the less-attentive students, I was just happy that he was willing to set aside two hours in the middle of his finals week to hold a review. That's kind of a big deal, you know? I mean, we are ALL very busy, and there have been reviews held every single day since the last day of class. That's huge.

Furthermore, reviews are, as always, completely and totally optional. So if you don't want to be there, don't be there. You knew that this review was going to last two hours. Why you would think it would last 30 minutes is so far beyond me, that I can't even express it adequately.

And seriously, we're paying a pittance for our education here at the Y, so what makes you think that you should have everything handed straight to you? I mean, I am so hugely against people thinking that they can just pay for things and get what they want without working for it, but I am even more against people paying very small amounts of money, paying costs that are subsidized by tithing from members of the church all over the world, and still expecting to not have to work at all for their education. You ingrates. I'm so sick of you.

What do you have to do that is so much more important than studying for a final anyhow? I mean really? How much is really as important as this right now, short of your mother being on her deathbed? Oh, I'm sorry... Is your boyfriend eating his dinner alone in the Cougareat right now? GET SOME PRIORITIES.

Why is it so hard for you to be respectful, huh? I mean really, there is very little that grates on my nerves quite like people being disrespectful, and I'm APPALLED at the number of people who were cutting off the TA, who were making snarky comments, who were asking him to tell them exactly what was going to be on the test, and who were just being rude to him, and to the rest of us who were in there.

I literally wanted to punch every person within a 5 seat radius of me in the face. I have never been so disgusted in my life. The majority of students were so rude, so disrespectful, and so disgustingly convinced that they deserved to have the answers to every question on the test given to them so that they could memorize them and spit them out verbatim with the smallest amount of effort possible.

NEWSFLASH STUDENTS: You don't deserve a degree UNTIL you've made an effort.

Those rude students in my Biology class are not making an effort. Well, they're making an effort to get out of making an effort, and that is simply not acceptable. I am so repulsed at their behavior, and at any student who exhibits the same behavior. It's absolutely foul, and it's an embarrassment to the university, and to the Church that we represent. Students need to be more respectful, and need to care more about their education. Because that's what we're here for; that's what life is all about—learning. And if you're expecting the purpose of life to be given to you without asking anything of you, you need a serious attitude adjustment. And you certainly don't need to be at BYU, because there are people out there that would actually put in the work, that deserve to be here, when compared to your whiny tushes. Stop being so ungrateful, and get rid of that revolting sense of entitlement that you possess.

I need to stop. This rant is getting outrageous, and also I'm running out of G-rated words to describe my annoyance with these idiots that call themselves students. UGH.

Facebook Fads

Facebook fads, trends, movements, rumors—I hate them all. You know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID. This may sound like an immature argument, but I intend to back it up, not in any sort of well-planned or thought out order, but just as it comes out of my mouth. I have a lot of rage on this subject, so be prepared. Here goes:

(1) I don't care what celebrity you think you look like. The fact is, you don't REALLY look like a celebrity, and it annoys the junk out of me that I can't tell who you are because YOU AREN'T IN YOUR OWN DANGED PROFILE PICTURE. Really, I think people just want to have really sexy profile pictures for a week (or month, as it happened) so they can hide their real faces. Grow up. We all know what you really look like, and honey, it ain't anything like Heidi Klum. I also don't care who your favorite cartoon character is. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person.

(2) Are you really stupid enough to think that changing your profile picture to a stupid cartoon character is going to do anything about child abuse? Seriously? Also, I don't want to talk to Tinkerbell or Pikachu or Betty Boop or Spongebob. And I definitely don't want to have to hover over your freaking picture to try to figure out who the heck you are. I just don't.

(3) "ATTENTION: Everyone change your profile pictures back to yourself because the group asking everyone to change their profile picture to their favorite cartoon character is actually a group of pedophiles. They're doing it because kids will accept their friend request faster if they see a cartoon picture. It has nothing to do with supporting child violence. It's on tonight's news! Copy and paste this as your status! Pass it on! Wow." I'm not even going to address the fact that this was absolutely heinous in regards to grammatical quality. But SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? I mean, yes there are children on Facebook, but not a significant portion. Furthermore, how would a cartoon profile picture make them more likely to accept a friend request? I'm pretty sure serious pedophiles are a bit more sophisticated than that in their pursuits. And let's also point out "supporting child violence." NO ONE IS SUPPORTING CHILD VIOLENCE. Except maybe you because you think that you're doing good in the world by changing your profile picture to a stupid cartoon. Newsflash: doesn't work (please see #2 above). What is wrong with you that you can't Google the story before posting your stupid status? I mean, really? Are you THAT dumb? Is it just TOO HARD for you to check this out and make sure it's really before you spam everybody's wall with your garbage? I mean, I was already annoyed out of my mind when people started changing their profile pictures to cartoons. But the fact that people are reposting this idiotic claim that it's a group of pedophiles who started it ... Good gravy. GET YOUR FREAKING FACTS STRAIGHT, STOP POSTING GARBAGE ON MY NEWS FEED, AND CHANGE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE BACK TO YOUR OWN FACE. I'm done with this one.

(4) I know you feel scandalous and dirty when you post "turquoise" or "I like it on the desk," but I don't care what color your bra is and I'm no wiser about breast cancer after you say that. Secondly, I don't care where you like your purse, and what does that have to do with anything? It's not even funny. It's just stupid.

(5) I really just hate any sort of viral Facebooking activity. Got it? Good.