Blog Re-Vamp, and A Dating Pet-Peeve

Okay, so I know that I've been squirrely with the design of this blog all over the place, but now there's a bigger change going on -- NEW BLOG TITLE! I figured now was a prime time to do it because this is my 101st post! Crazy, huh?? It's almost hard to believe.... almost. Of course, I'm rather verbose, and there's probably 20+ drafts scattered throughout Blogger, Windows Live Writer, and Word ... but who really knows. There's 100 on here, and that's what counts.

So, why "The Happy Pessimist"? Well, first off, I think that's what I am. I know it seems a little bit contradictory, but I think it's very possible to be both pessimistic and happy. I guess a more accurate title would actually be something like "The Optimistic Realist," but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it, and really doesn't mean the same thing. And I mean it to mean what it means, which is "I'm a pessimist, and dangit I'm happy too!"

Additionally, I feel like it's about time I adopted some kind of blog-identity. It just feels right. I don't know how much of a difference that makes, but it feels different. Sort of. Not really. Plus, I have the advantage of not making a title-specific blog address, so I can change the actual title whenever I want. Suck on that. :)

Anyways. That's all the news on the blog re-vamp. On to my newest dating pet peeve. Are you so ready for this, people?

So here's what's up: When you're 15 and you're trying to sneakily date someone and you keep saying "It's not a date," but it looks like a date, smells like a date, sounds like a date, etc. ... it's a date.

BUT

When you're in college, and you're repeatedly getting called to repentance for not dating and not getting married, you don't get to rip your moves off the 15-year old pubescent boys. It's severely not cool.

In college, if you want to go on a date with a girl, you ASK HER ON A DATE. Not "want to hang out?" or "want to play?" (which is just hecka annoying for a bajillion other reasons) or "a bunch of us are doing this want to come?" No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. These are all the wrong way to handle the dating situation. I suppose you don't actually have to say the word "date" (though it's much preferred, as it makes things that much more clear). You do need to make the Three P's (Planned, Paid For, Paired Off) very clear from the very beginning to count it as a date.

Let me give you a situation I have recently become acquainted with (and dramatized for effect).

A young woman was hanging out with herself one day, and a young man texted her and said "Wanna play tonight?" (You boys have REALLY got to stop saying that. It's infantile and creepy sounding.) She said okay, and they determined to meet up later that evening to do something. When they met up, they decided to get some food, as friends are wont to do. Upon arriving at the restaurant, the young man offered to pay. She said no, that she could get it, but he insisted, and she gave in. They hung out that night, had a fun time, and that was the end of it.

Or so she thought.

The next day at church, the young man's roommates and friends asked her at different times throughout the day, "How was your date last night?"

The young woman was surprised. She hadn't been on a date. She had hung out with a friend. Yes, that friend offered to pay ... but that wasn't the intent from the beginning. At least, she didn't think it was. In her mind, it hadn't been a date. How could such a misunderstanding have happened?

Here's another story that happened to me about a year and a half ago. I met this guy at a party, and we became Facebook friends, and one night he invited me over to his house to watch a movie with him and some of his friends. Being uncool and having no form of vehicular transportation and this guy living far away, I said, "Sorry, I can't make it." Eventually it came out (though I was much more cool about it than the way I just explained it) and he said he'd come and pick me up. So he came and got me, and then he said he was hungry and that he wanted to grab some food at the Taco Bell. He asked if I wanted anything, I said no, and we proceeded on to his place.

There wasn't anyone else there.

Now I'm thinking either this guy was really clever, or he didn't have any friends, or he was the lonesome loser that got left out when everyone else wanted to have fun. So since there's nobody there, we put in Hot Rod and sit on the couch and it's super awkward because we don't know each other at all and, like I said, there was no one else there, plus his house was really creepy and gross. Eventually, the night came to an end, and he took me home.

So, what I'm still wondering is ... was that supposed to be a date? I mean, it kind of came off looking like one, and he did end up asking me out on a real date later on (which lasted 45 minutes, muahahaha), but what was that heinousness? There's an even more important question though:

Don't I have the right to know if I'm on a date or not?

I don't feel like that's an outrageous expectation. Is it? I'm going to give you an answer for that: No. No, it is not. Girls have the right to know when a boy thinks he's on a date with her. Which is why it is preferable that the word "DATE" is used when inviting a girl to do something, if that something is indeed being perceived by you as a date. Okay, kids? If it's not going to be a date, make that clear also. There are creepy, overeager girls too who will turn anything into a date. SO MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR.

You know, I feel like this applies to a lot of situations, and I feel like there are a lot of problems that would be solved in this world if people were just straight-up honest about things, if people actually said the things they were thinking instead of trying to hint at or suggest or imply or whatever their actual thoughts. In the words of John Mayer, "Say what you need to say. It's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say."

It really blows my mind that some people can talk so much without saying anything. You'd think with all the time we spend talking about ourselves, updating our Twitter accounts and telling people what we're doing and posting pictures of things we've attended and stuff we've done ... that we'd somehow find the ability to convey our actual thoughts, feelings, intentions. But we fail. Big time. Is anyone else frustrated that we deal with all this miscommunication and misunderstanding when we really don't have to? Why?

I really don't get it. Not to suggest that I have superior skills in the communication department, because heaven knows I've had my fair share of responsibility in these types of matters. I'm just saying, something needs to change.