Dreams Gone Awry

Sometimes, we have dreams that go awry. For example, a few nights ago I dreamed that I was kissing Alan Rickman. And no, not this kind of Alan Rickman ...

... who is, ya know, kind of a little bit attractive. He's got a little somethin' somethin' going on. But no. It was not that kind of Alan Rickman. It was definitely more like this:

and maybe a little of this too ... but with clothes ...

Oh. And add some Snape robes in there too. Because that's what he was wearing.

Now, I need to explain something here. It was one of those dreams where you have extremely heightened senses. For about half the dream, I had something stabbing me in the ribs, and when I woke up it took me a minute or so to convince my brain that there was nothing that was actually causing pain, and that I was okay. It had just hurt so bad in my dream that my head couldn't let go of it. So with this dream, as I was kissing this old dude, I was very aware that he had very crusty lips. (And he was a really bad kisser. Just saying. Even in my dream, I wanted it to be over ASAP.)

Alas, I now have this trouble: I am haunted by this dream, and his nasty old crusty-crusts. Just looking at those pictures of him gives me the willies because I got creeped on by him in my dream. I mean he is OLD. So inappropriate and weird. Also, every time I think about it, I have this resurrection of the sensation of those crusty-crusts on my lips, ... which is followed by a swift desire to sanitize and moisturize them. Mine, I mean. As I write this, I am fighting it because my brain keeps saying, "Hey! Remember this?!" And I'm like, "NO FOR THE LOVE OF PETE STOP!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THAT!!!!!"

Because really, yuck, who would? Unless you're one of those creepy people who thinks Snape is hot, or you're married to him, or you're an old fart who knew who he was before he became one of the most hated (though eventually loved and/or appreciated) characters of the most successful fantasy series of all time. Then maybe you would want to...

But I doubt it. Woof.

You know, I really hate when this happens. When you wake up and say, "That would have been a good dream if ..." for example, instead of kissing Alan Rickman, I was kissing Zac Efron or Ben Barnes or even Taylor Lautner.

But no. It had to be Alan Rickman. And why? I have no freaking idea why. Where does this come from? Do I have a secret crush on Alan Rickman that even I don't know about? Pardon me Alan, but heaven forbid. That would be super creepy and uncomfortable. I mean, there are a thousand other people that I think about on a day to day basis ... Him, not so much. What bizarre recesses of my brain are in control of this?

Does this ever happen to anyone else? I feel like I always have these really intense, memorable, and frequently very strange dreams, but I rarely hear other people talk about theirs. I mean, when I wake up and have a weird dream, rest assured my entire apartment will hear about it within about 12 hours. Probably within 12 minutes, if everyone's awake and at home. That's just the way I roll.

Why do dreams sometimes go awry? Why do we have nightmares and creepy dreams and other things? Why can't all dreams be good? I mean, what purpose are they even serving? Particularly the bad/weird ones? I just don't get it. And I wish they wouldn't. Or that I could forget it when they do ... ughhhhhhhh.