You know, I don't mind seeing food particles in my copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with it's broken binding and occasionally crinkled, spotted, or dripped-on pages. They're all just tokens of each of the times I've read that stinkin' book (which is a lot of times, in case you haven't guessed). I've read it in bed, in the bathtub, with a sandwich, outside, in a car ... and even though I don't remember where all of those imperfections specifically came from (though of course I do remember some), it's all still from me. Me and old Harry, hanging out alllllll the time. Mmmm ... good memories.
Anyways, I feel pretty proud of myself. I've finished two books since being back—The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, and Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. Here's a little bit on how I feel about these books. We might call them book reviews, I suppose.
The Catcher in the Rye
Mmmmk so this book is like 10+ swear words per page. Seriously. So that was really irritating. Basically the book's about this kid who has been in a million different private schools because he keeps getting kicked out of them because he refuses to apply himself. Being that I hate people who refuse to apply themselves, I found Holden Caulfield to be very annoying. That, in addition to his horrific mouth, meant I wasn't much of a fan of his.
So basically he is getting kicked out of this school and decides to just leave before the semester's out and spends most of the book wandering around New York City being depressed and calling things gorgeous and trying to decide whether he wants to call such-and-such girl and basically just being an idiot. He's SO annoying and the book was a pretty worthless read, if you ask me.
I don't really understand how anyone has found anything worth reading in that book, and it's my personal belief that J.D. Salinger was just sitting in his room one day thinking, "I bet I can write an American classic about a stupid kid, and everyone will read into it and think it's this great work, when really, it's just a mess of swear words, vulgarity, and things not befitting a respectable American teenager." The whole thing is classless.
I checked out Wikipedia to try to get some idea of what it is that makes this novel valuable in the eyes of psycho people (and by psycho I mean people who are into the whole rebellion thing, or who are just plain crazy enough to like this book), but I didn't find anything remotely interesting—at least on that subject. I did find something interesting on another subject, which I will bring up later in this post.
Anyways, what I'm saying is that if you're not into glorified rebellion, vulgarity, promiscuity, etc., The Catcher in the Rye is probably not going to interest you. If you ARE into glorified rebellion, vulgarity, promiscuity, etc., you should stop being a loser and a tactless burden to society.
And now, Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Okay. This book I LOVED. So good. You know a book is good when you still cry when the sad parts happen, even though you know they are coming because you've seen the movie. This book is so well written, it's disgusting. Thomas Hardy is amazing (which is why I'm currently reading Far From the Madding Crowd). It's SO romantic and so beautiful... goodness. I really just couldn't say enough good things about it, even though there are some seriously sad parts. Because I don't want to ruin it for you (because you have GOT to read it!), I will refrain from going into detail about the sad parts ... but it is so good. It's such a lush garden of raw, human emotion. (Sans vulgarity, promiscuity, teenage rebellion, etc.) And Tess is such like, a roll model to me with the way she deals with hardships. Like, some of the stuff that happens to her is so unfair, and then she deals with it and you're like, "Heck, I want to be this woman!" Granted, she's also very naive, and that's not always a helpful thing for her ... but she's still so admirable. This book is amazing. Definitely going on my list of favorites for LIFE.
On the topic of another character: I've basically come to the conclusion that I'll never be able to watch the Liam Neeson version of Les Miserables because the guy who plays Marius also happens to be the guy who plays Lord Coward on Sherlock Holmes ... and Alec d'Urberville in Tess. I probably could have blocked just Lord Coward from my mind, but Alec d'Urberville is the scum of the world and so creepy that I don't know if I could really watch it again without his creepier realm of acting infringing on my ability to perceive Marius as the pure, loving character that he is. So that's kind of a bummer. On the other hand, thinking of that actor while reading Tess made him super creepy. I mean, he was pretty creepy, but I think I might have forgotten how creepy he was because he was always being so pathetic in the way he spoke and stuff. Even though he wasn't actually being pathetic, but crafty and creepster-y. But anyways, that man shivers me timbers, and more or less creeps the living daylights out of me. Blehhhh. I shudder to think of him.
Okay. So now I get to tell you all about my wanderings in Barnes & Noble. LOVE that store. I already knew I was going to buy Far From the Madding Crowd, and even though these classic novels are SO good and so enlightening, they are a little heavy. Like, it takes a little more work to read them. I don't really get why, because they really shouldn't. They aren't difficult to read, everything they say makes sense, and there's really no apparent reason for why they are so intense ... they just are. So I decide I need to get another book. Something light, fluffy, happy, romantic, current. And I'm looking around and looking around and looking around, checking shelf after shelf, finding authors that I know and love, but not finding a plot summary that really fits what I'm looking for.
Let's go back to a minute ago when I was looking for stuff about The Catcher in the Rye. On Wikipedia, there's a section that states:
In 2009, Salinger successfully sued to stop the U.S. publication of a novel that presents Holden Caulfield as an old man. The novel's author, Fredrik Colting, commented, "call me an ignorant Swede, but the last thing I thought possible in the U.S. was that you banned books." The issue is complicated by the nature of Colting's book, 60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye, which has been compared to fan fiction.Although commonly not authorized by writers, no legal action is usually taken against fan fiction since it is rarely published commercially and thus involves no profit. Colting, however, has published his book commercially. Unauthorized fan fiction on The Catcher in the Rye has existed on the Internet for years without any legal action taken by Salinger.
In case you didn't catch on, the bold part is the important part. "Fan fiction is rarely published commercially"?? Let me explain. There was a freaking Pride and Prejudice fan fiction novel on literally almost every shelf in the Fiction & Literature section of Barnes & Noble, I kid you not. It was disgusting. And, considering that, it's ridiculous to say that fan fiction is rarely published. Perhaps that is true, relative to how many people are actually writing fan fiction... but it's apparent that your potential to get published jumps dramatically if you're writing Pride and Prejudice fan fiction.
I don't mind people writing fan fiction and publishing it on fanfiction.net (or other websites ... are there other websites?). I really don't. I think it's a good way for people to practice plot, if that's the way they want to do it. I mean, it takes a lot of the work out of it, since you don't really have to establish the characters or anything. Theoretically, you could put all your focus onto developing plot, and it would really make that part easy I suppose. But here's the thing: it takes a lot of the work out of writing a story (or novel). Now, tell me, is it fair for someone to jack the characters off another person's story and write their own little plot, without having to develop these characters, and get paid for it??? NO. It's an affront to the whole concept of authorship, in my opinion. I mean, people out there work tirelessly trying to pull together a work that's all their own, and someone's getting published when they only did half the work. I am further disgusted that there's even a market for that. I mean, yes, Jane Austen is an amazing author. I love her to death. I have the complete set of her novels on my shelf, it's one of the few books I took with me to college, and I'm more or less obsessed with her stories. But not to the point that every book I read needs to have the same set of characters over and over again. That's ridiculous! There are so many other types of characters and people and settings and story lines to experience, and it is embarrassing to me that fellow human beings will continue to feed on just one story! It's like that freaky roommate my dad had in college that would only eat macaroni and cheese, captain crunch, and fruit cocktail. THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE! People can be so disappointing sometimes.
That being said, I will tell you one of the things that really drew me to the book I did buy, Beginner's Greek. It had many of the criteria I was looking for, and some other great qualities too: it's pretty thick, it's all about romance, it claims to make anyone believe in true love (awww), it is currently a national bestseller, and there are four full pages of stellar reviews for it. Plus there wasn't anything that said, "This sensuous story of steamy romance and sexual tension blah blah blah." You know there's gonna be dirty scenes in books like that. But there was nothing like that, which, while it does not guarantee a clean read at least indicates that it's not a huge part of the novel. But what really kind of hooked me was that one of the reviews, quoted on the cover, said "Jane Austen fans will feel right at home." Sigh. I will have to read it, of course, but if that's a valid claim, I feel like it would make a good transition novel for all those psychos that are obsessed with Pride and Prejudice fan fiction novels. We shall see. But I am really, really excited to read it. Hopefully it isn't disappointing, since I did buy it instead of renting it from the library. But whatever. I have a job now, so that makes it less of a splurge. Muahahaha.
Anyways, I've wasted enough time on the internet so far today, and I want to get back to reading Far From the Madding Crowd. Partly because I can't wait to start Beginner's Greek. :)
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