Procrastination and Motivation

I no longer believe in trying to do homework when I'm not in the mood.

Why? Because I languished on my bed in weird, contorted positions that resulted in significant discomfort for a good half of the day, and spent the rest having terrible posture at my desk and making my back hurt. And what did I achieve in the midst of all this pain and suffering?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING PRODUCTIVITY.

I might as well have been breaking scads of dishes on the kitchen counter with a face of complete despair and disgust, because believe me, I was/am DISGUSTED with myself, and despairing at the horrific waste of a day that today truly was. And it's not just because I completely failed in regards to getting my paper written earlier, but that I knew that I couldn't do it. Every time I pulled the documents up on my screen, I stared at them miserably for a few seconds, tried to read a few pages, but just collapsed from sheer paper-loathing every single time. But because of fear of the possibility of never reaching that point of motivation and inspiration that always inevitably strikes at a reasonable time, I just sat in front of the freaking computer achieving nothing and feeling gross for hours on end. HOURS. HOURS. I KNEW THAT I COULD DO NOTHING TO MAKE MY PAPER HAPPEN AND SO I JUST SAT HERE AND WATCHED IT NOT HAPPEN WHEN I COULD HAVE GONE OUT AND DONE SOMETHING AWESOME WITH MY DAY. Idk what I possibly would have done, but it would have been AMAZING. Or maybe, ya know, I just would have gone to Wal-Mart or something. Anything would have been better than what I did.

Wow. In my angsty pit of regret, I completely forgot the awesome part of this story.

At approximately 8:45ish, I was laying on the floor of the living room with Chelsea and Paul, staring at the ceiling, when suddenly I knew it was time to get up and write.

And I churned out more (and at a higher quality) in a single hour than I did in the previous who-even-knows-how-many hours (but if we were gonna guess, somewhere in the realm of 12-15).


Suffice it to say that I am never, EVER doing homework when I don't feel inspired ever again for as long as I live. In other words, goodbye guilt, and hello FUN THINGS :)