The Potty Press

So I've been wanting to say something about this for a long time, but I don't want to sound like I'm griping. I really have no true beef with this thing, but I have this weird enjoyment thing about pointing out things that don't make sense. So here it goes:

Why in the heck are there recipes on The Potty Press??

I mean, let's think about this for a second. (1) There is but one kitchen for all, what, 250 of us girls living here? And it's gross and in the 2nd darkest corner of the building (the first darkest corner of the building is definitely the elevator area in the basement ... *shudder*), (2) Most of the ingredients (with the possible exception of the grilled cheese recipe) are not available at our nearest Creamery. Nor are many of them located at the Wyview Creamery, most likely. We can't use our Monopoly money at the Creamery on 9th, and most of us don't have cars to take us to Macey's or Walmart to get the ingredients we need.

Now, at this point, the fact that none of us are going to be cooking in the basement is, more or less, moot point. Therefore, there is only one thing we are to be left to believe: that these recipes are for future reference. Oddly enough, this provides a whole host of problems for me to talk about. (3) There are only 4 Potty Presses per bathroom. Assuming everyone will need to cook next year, it would make sense that all of us would want to take advantage of these recipes. Except that, if distributed evenly, each of us would only receive one tenth of a complete Potty Press, and there is no doubt that not a single person would find themselves possessing an entire recipe at the end of such a distribution.

And so we come to the fourth and final point. (4) If we are not to possess the Potty Press, it must needs follow that we are to copy down the recipes. In order to copy down the recipes, we would have to bring a pen and paper (or at least just a pen, so that we could copy it onto some T.P. ... which would be difficult, as it would hardly stand up to such pressure.) And then there's this whole thing where you're taking a piddle whilst copying a recipe for Apple Crisp (or something like unto it) onto a sheet of toilet paper, using your naked upper leg as a writing surface which is certainly not going to be a very successful pursuit. By the time you come out, you're carrying a piece of toilet paper covered in black chicken scratch, and it's probably a little ripped up. And then you have to wash your hands, and by the time you get back to your room you're thinking, "Why the heck did I copy this down? Like I'm going to hang onto this nasty bit of toilet paper until next year in my apartment!" And then you throw it away and it's been a total waste.

Do you see what I'm saying? I mean, obviously the answer is yes (there are words, you see them ... HAH. Punny? Idk. Whatever. Bah-dump-CLANG) but do you understand my point?

RECIPES ON THE POTTY PRESS ARE USELESS!!!!

Again, let me say that I really have no problem with The Potty Press. I find it quite enjoyable to think about stuff other than using the bathroom while using the bathroom. I'm just... sayin'.

The End.